


gross

by viscountfrancisbacon



Category: One Piece
Genre: Gen, Luffy is gross and Usopp disapproves, Strawhat shenanigans, and some people just aren't prepared to do what it takes, as does Sanji, mealtime among the nakama is a battlefield
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-14
Updated: 2014-01-14
Packaged: 2018-01-08 16:36:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1134965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/viscountfrancisbacon/pseuds/viscountfrancisbacon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>usopp attempts to protect his food from their local bottomless pit of a rubberman.</p>
            </blockquote>





	gross

“Usopp~” his captain whines, mouth pouting in a way that is more than faintly ridiculous coming from a man worth several million beri. Not that Luffy doesn't have ridiculousness down to a very fine art. “I'm huuuungryyyy.”

“You literally just ate, Luffy, I'm not giving you my snack as well” Usopp replies, trying to stave off the inevitable. Quickly cramming some cubes of cheese and fruit into his mouth, he smacks a rubber hand away from the plate on his lap and then grabs the hand and the other as it tries to sneak in for the kill of Usopp's afternoon snack. Damn Sanji for being so caught up in serving Nami and Robin drinks that he can't even spare a moment to help fend off the ravaging horde that is Luffy when the rubberman decides he's still hungry after eating what would be a decent meal to most of them.

“Hungry! Hungry! Food, Usopp, food!” Luffy cries, draped over his sniper's back and flinging his sandals off to try and grab Usopp's plate with his toes. His ankles, whether purposefully or accidentally Usopp can't actually tell, slam into Usopp's wrists and break the other man's death grip on his hands.

“Gross! Luffy, no, that's disgusting, your feet are dirty. Luffy no. This is my snack dammit you can't—” as Sanji starts twirling or something equally pathetic in Usopp's peripheral vision, Luffy coils stretchy arms around his nakama's and lunges forward with a neck too long for any normal human to cram the entire plate into his gaping maw. Apparently he's gotten tired of Usopp's attempts at resistance. “—have it.” the sharpshooter finishes, before sighing deeply. He really should have known better than to delay eating long enough (namely five minutes, maximum) for Luffy to scarf down his own snack; leaving food where the captain could see it was practically giving up your claim to it if you didn't intend to fight dearly for the right to at least taste the stuff.

As Usopp glumly contemplates his now-empty lap and wonders how long he'll have to wait for Sanji to come out of his Love Cook delusions and get him another snack (he'd wonder if he would get something else to eat at all, but with Sanji around this is a patently ridiculous thought), there is the sound of rubber snapping back into place and a saliva-covered plate being spat out onto the deck.

“Ne, Usopp, why is your snack so-”

“Luffy, if you are about to say that you're still hungry, then a certain incredibly strong, ridiculously handsome, extraordinarily brave warrior of the sea will be forced to snap you into the ocean like one of his rather useful rubber bands. Go bug Sanji.”

“But I'm-”

_“Go. Bug. Sanji.” ___

__With a whine and another exaggerated pout, Luffy finally detaches from Usopp and ambles sadly toward their cook, ready to turn his considerable powers of beggary and annoyance on the person whose job is actually feeding the monstrous (in stomach if nothing else) captain. Now finally free from the menace, Usopp is able to turn his attention back to the rather fascinating book on practical chemistry that Robin has lent him._ _

__He's able to inhale another chapter or two before the scent of smoke and cologne heralds another plate of food being set down next to him. As he hears the spit-covered plate being picked up among disgusted muttering about the variability of rubber fish bait, Usopp finds himself smothering a grin between the pages._ _


End file.
